Seattle, Washington, United States
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Thursday, October 27, 2011

the music makers

The tumult is self-sustained.

I got home from a hectic day today. Too many obligations, too many things to do, too many people to worry about, too much to think about. Every day has seemed like this for the last few weeks. Too much is going wrong, too much is going mad, too much is just going.

But the tumult is self-sustained.

I took my brother to football practice about a half hour ago. On my way from his school to the gas station, I put in my iPod headphones and clicked on a song at random. It was three minutes and thirty-five straight seconds of pure joy, about forgetting what's happening, what others think, even of thinking what you think. Just about dancing, singing, being a music maker. The song is "Put Your Records On" by Corrine Bailey Rae, and at that moment, singing and dancing and putting my records on was all I wanted to do.

So, needless to say, I sang and danced to it on repeat in my car, in front of strangers at the gas station, on the way home. I giggled uncontrollably. I whipped my hair back and forth. I didn't think about anything. I just hung out in the joyous spirit of a music maker. It was only about fifteen minutes of my life, but what a perfect fifteen it was.

And so I realized: the tumult is self-sustained.

I have a drama teacher and director who always tells us: "The only thing in life you don't get to choose is being born and dying." While it's kind of a blanket statement, on the whole, he is right. We don't get thrust into many situations we can't change, and, even in those where we are somewhat powerless, walking away is always an option.

So I stuck myself in this mess? In all of these little, tiny messes that, like so many dots, make one damn ugly Picasso face of anxiety? Mhm, how unfortunate. And how wonderful. You see, if the tumult is something we build, something we place ourselves into, something we continue to make, then it is also something that we can change. Even if we don't change the situation, how we perceive it changes it intrinsically. Life, after all, has little to do with facts, but quite a lot to do with perception of what little is there.

The tumult is self-sustained.

The liberation is self-realized.

The laughter, however, is uncontrollable.

May your coffee be strong, your passions electric, and your laughter easy.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you posted right now! If it had been an hour or so later I probably would've texted and been like POST!! Hehe. This is beautiful and it made my day. It's such a simple but complicated but comforting realization! Thank you for being so wonderful. Much love, my fellow twill-wearer.